What Does it Mean to Be Unapologetically You?
So maybe you’ve noticed this trend in the news, social media, and workplace: that it’s time for us to stop conforming to the dominant culture (read “white, male”) and get the culture to conform to us.
Well, part of not conforming is not apologizing for who and what we are. So how do we do that?
How to be unapologetic at home… and at work
In Season 2, Episode 1 of Inclusionomics®, we unpack the internal work we must do to be our unapologetic selves — because change starts right where we are. We all have voices, but sometimes our voices have been silenced for so long we forget what they sound like.
Lisa shares the story of growing up hearing comments from her dad and brother about her “loud” voice that pissed her off. At first, they made her want to silence her voice. But as she grew older, their comments gave Lisa the conviction to be her unapologetic self, and not the kind of person who worried about breaking the rules.
But, being unapologetically you doesn’t mean blurting your opinion every time you’re in a work meeting going sideways. Stacey shares what you can do to prepare for those meetings, to stay in your integrity, avoid self-defeat, and position yourself as a trusted member of your team.
Stacey also shares a story from when she worked for someone with a reputation for throwing staplers at his employees (yes, really). Yet Stacey and he had a respectful relationship! Stacey reveals how being her unapologetic self meant a stapler was never aimed at her head.
Setting unapologetic boundaries — and expectations
An important part of being your unapologetic self is knowing — and setting — boundaries, especially in a world where stress and overwhelm have led to “burnout” being classified as a diagnosis. Stacey shares a funny and relatable story of setting boundaries with her mom, and the coping mechanism she uses to stay unapologetic and preserve their relationship.
We also discuss how important it is to set clear expectations when you are your unapologetic self. Lisa shares the story of a client whose decisive leadership led to negative feedback from her team. Lisa reveals how this client could have set expectations to both achieve her leadership goals and build strong relationships with her staff.
Remember, being unapologetic means that you refuse to shape-shift and compromise who you are to conform. It doesn’t mean that we never apologize for the way we make others feel. It doesn’t mean we don’t have learning edges, or that we can’t change.
What does being “unapologetic” mean to you? How does it show up in your personal relationships and at the office?
Take a listen here at Inclusionomics®. If you like what you hear, please subscribe, leave a review, and share!
FYI, this is episode 1 of Season 2 of Inclusionomics©, a podcast hosted by Stacey Gordon and Lisa Gates dedicated to fresh, real talk about our lived experiences with the challenges of being seen, heard, and included. This season we’re tackling the theme Unapologetic -- in our language, self-care, wealth, ambition, and even race (yep, we’re going there).
Lisa Gates is owner of Story Happens Here, a leadership coaching practice dedicated to helping unapologetically ambitious women own their story, control their narrative, and rise up. Stacey Gordon is a diversity, inclusion and career strategist and CEO of Rework Work where she strives to reduce bias in hiring and barriers to entry.