The Power of Personal Story in Moments of Challenge, Conflict, and Change

Imagine this scenario: Leadership decides to scrap a product or service, and you’ve worked your tail off for the last few years on that very product or service. And now it’s your job to rally your team around a new product/service, justify the decision, and do your best to not come off like an insensitive, party line jerk.

Or imagine this scenario: Your organization is struggling toward diversity, inclusion, and belonging. As a leader, your commitment is essential, but you want to do more than point to the company values on the cafeteria walls and expect a turnaround. You need to invest your whole self, design systemic, measurable goals, walk the talk, and influence the behavior of others.

How do you do that? With story, of course.

Story has the unique ability to speak to and include the different perspectives your people hold and help you build trust in moments of change and uncertainty. 

As in, “I know how hard it is to put your life energy into something that had an incredible impact, only to scrap it for what seems like an unpredictable future.”

As in, “The data tells us we’re making progress in our hiring for diversity, but our surveys and town halls tell us we’re miles away from generating true inclusion and belonging.”

Those are very first lines of stories that speak to the conflict, or the tension of opposites. But those lines also convey your confidence in your people, your appreciation for their lived experience, their expertise and toil, and your empathy for the difficulty of change.

But how do you tell the rest of the story?  Make it Personal.

We can find all kinds of stories in literature, religious texts, and fables that comport with the feeling we want to grow in our listeners. The Turtle and the Hare. Eve and the Apple. David and Goliath.

We can also find stories from difficult times in the history of famed organizations that align with challenges and opportunities we’re currently experiencing. The failure of Apple’s Lisa. The Challenger explosion. The dramatic rise and fall of Theranos.

But for my money, the best endorphin-creating, connection-building, trust-generating story is one that comes from our own lived experience.

If I were that leader who needed to move from diversity platitudes to inclusion revolution, I might tell a story about moving to a new town and school in 7th grade and being circled by girls who bullied me about how I dressed and for being a “hippie outsider.”

Or I might tell a story about the multiple times I was harassed in the workplace, the seemingly benign pats on the butt, or “honey come sit on my lap” comments, followed by “come on, if you can’t take a little ribbing, you should find another job.” 

Those personal stories provide context and generate empathy, and the impact is not just in the moment. If your story is truly told, it will be repeated throughout your team and company. And if those stories are followed by the leaders’ commitments and listening and hearing the stories and experiences of her people to generate specific, measurable change, the story will have done its job.

If you are struggling with change in your organization or your team, start with story, and give room to hear the stories of your people’s experience. 

Yes. Start there. With all your humanity.