I’m always talking about “controlling your narrative.” Grabbing hold of your values, strengths, skills, and experience and turning those building-block words into speakable snippets and stories that communicate your value to achieve a desired result in a client meeting, a networking event, a promotion conversation, a conference panel, or a job interview. 

The bigger deal mission behind those snippets and stories is to assure that you communicate your uniqueness and use your influence to rise up and do that thing you’re meant to do in the world. 

When I’m in a cynical mood, it all kinda smacks of marketing, right? Spin, maybe. Like developing the brand messaging for politicians with catch phrases and memes that will, with persistence and budgets in the millions, become part of the collective discourse. They conduct a few focus groups and come up with a string of words they bend into their PR and advertising campaigns, and suddenly “Change We Can Believe In,” or “Think Different,” is on everyone’s lips.

I spent a bit of time as an employee in PR and marketing circles and that experience has definitely influenced my coaching and consulting. But I’m a subversive at heart and I think we women need to co-opt those tactics and practices with originality and authenticity to deepen our potential. 

You likely know about the importance of creating a Superpower Statement. This is akin to a brand’s unique selling proposition and it’s the first step in controlling your narrative.

Of course the purpose of a Superpower Statement is to communicate your strengths, values and experience in a manner that tells the listener what’s in it for them. You’re trying to tell the story of you and influence an outcome for you and for them.

So here are three hacks to help you drive home the story of you.

Hack #1: The Influence Interview

We can’t control what others think or say about us, but we can influence their perception. So as you think about controlling your narrative here’s a little exercise that will help you do what marketers do in focus groups. Conduct a little research with your trusted friends/coworkers to get some intel on how people see you and relate to you. It goes like this:

Write an email to a handful of people/influencers from your present work and past. Ask them:

• What do I do well?

• What are my strengths?

• Where do you see me struggle?

• What advice do you have that would make me more effective?

Promise them that you will not defend or retort. Promise them you will only reply with thanks and gratitude. 

The feedback you receive will likely reveal: 1) your Superpower Statement is accurate,  2) you may have overlooked a superpower or two, and 3) what you can do to deepen your strengths and control how you’re perceived.

Hack #2: Mirroring for Likeability

So now let’s say your Superpower Statement is tight and you’re having an interview or promotion conversation. One of the Principles of Influence is likeability. If we like someone, we will listen more to what they have to say. 

One of the ways you can generate likeability and control perception is to listen to the kind of language people use and mirror it. For example, if a hiring manager uses kinesthetic language like “I feel very strongly about X” or “I’m trying to get a handle on Y” you might use “feel” or “handle” in your reply.

Hack #3: Assuming Agreement

Another influence gem is to assume agreement. Let’s say you’ve claimed some pretty big impacts and numbers on your résumé. You might ask, “You’re probably wondering how I achieved such a big turnaround.” Humans being human will say, “Yes!” And now you can tell the story behind the numbers.

And that story will do as much or more than all three hacks combined.